I Just Live Here

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50. Love Day

50. Love Day. Man embracing his husband about to lovingly kiss. Caption: To the boss of my heart, happy valenine's day.

49. The Rush

49. The Rush. Man reflecting on various chat bubbles saying you're spending the holiday with your other parent, hmm?! I'm in town, it's going to be our only chance to visit this year! We're sad it was too much for either of us to visit this year... Let's have a big christmas party! Gees why aren't your decorations up yet?? When is visitation? Stop asking what we're having for dinner and who's coming! Why has your son been so upset this season? He thinks to himself 'tis the season...

48. The Holidays

48. The Holidays. Man and boy in a darkened living room, looking at an old-fashioned TV. Boy says gees, how many times are you going to watch these holiday memories? Man replies I don't really have much choice, son...

47. Dress Code

47. Dress Code. Man looking at himself in the mirror with an amused expresssion thinking this is going to take some getting used to after working in tech... On the dresser is a note which reads dress code: blue dress shirt, dark pants, maroon tie

46. Tired

46. Tired. Man standing and waving his hand enthusiastically at a school sporting event yelling woo! yeah! go son, go! while thinking I definitely slept more than 3 hours and have the energy for this, yes!

45. Side Effects

45. Side Effects. Man standing in the bathroom with a pill in hand is thinking welp, here geos another new medication. Later, man sitting in chair looking at his watch thinks ah, time for bed. Man stands up and falls forward, feeling dizzy. He says uh oh. Man falls backwards into his chair, completely disoriented.

44. Flashpoint, Part 7/7

Flashpoint, part 7 of 7. Boy is laying in his bed at the end of the day. He overhears his mother and step father arguing. I can't believe what a fuck up you are as a parent! Me?! It's your fault most of the kids are gone! He thinks to himself, sadly, I guess this is my life now. I thought we were all supposed to stick together...

43. Flashpoint, Part 6/7

Flashpoint, part 6 of 7. Boy and his mother are sitting in the car at twilight, going to denny's. Boy says he's not coming back, is he? His mother responds no, I don't think so. Boy thinks to himself, just like my real brother.

42. Flashpoint, Part 5/7

Flashpoint, part 5 of 7. Boy is sitting slumped in an easy chair in a dark room. His mother is standing in the doorway. She says hey kid. He responds hey mom. His mother says none of this was your fault, ok? Boy says I know. His mother continues let's go to denny's, just you and me. your step dad is pretty sad and needs some space. Boy responds ok.

41. Flashpoint, Part 4/7

Flashpoint, part 4 of 7. Boy is looking down from a second floor window. Below him, his step brother's mother says what the hell were you thinking?! Step brother says I don't know mom, we were bored. His mother retorts you are out of control! pack your bags, you're coming to live with me. His father interjects wait, don't I get a say in this? His step mother says no, you had your chance to be a good father. While this is happening, boy is thinking would this have gone differently if I'd called someone? but who could've even helped?

40. Flashpoint, Part 3/7

Flashpoint, part 3 of 7. Boy is angrily walking away holding his bee bee gun while his step brother's friend yells asshole! He is thinking whatever. it's mine. Boy walks into his house. By the front door, he thinks I can't believe my own step brother would steal my bee bee gun. His face falls, and he thinks wow, that was dumb of me. he and his friends are out of control. I could've really gotten hurt...

39. Flashpoint, Part 2/7

Flashpoint, part 2 of 7. Boy is standing between his step brother and his step brother's friend. His step brother's friend is holding a gun, and behind him a window is shot out. Boy angrily says that's my bee bee gun, give it to me. The friend, now confused, says erm. The step brother sheepishly says do it...

38. Flashpoint, Part 1 of 7

Flashpoint, part 1 of 7. Boy sitting at his computer overhears nice shot! from outside and says hmm? Boy looks out the window with a mild expression and hears hahaha! duuude! He thinks to himself I wonder what they're up to. hey, wait... Boy is still looking out the window, now angry. That's mine! he thinks. Boy storms away from the window, furious.

37. Broken Filling

man holding side of mouth says "This is karma for questioning my dentist's skills while on a trip. Damn."

36. Two Weeks

Work colleague says Hey man, sorry to hear you're leaving. I learned tons from you. Man says Hey, yeah, thanks. It was great to work with you too. Another work colleague is waiting to speak to man. Man thinks I'm out of unique nice things to say, I hope no one notices...

35. Burn Out

Burnout. Panel 1: Man floating on log, thinking “gee, I didn’t know I was this far out.” Panel 2: Zoom out to man being lost at sea.

34. Fear

Man confronts a physical manifestation of his fear. The fear writhes and says sent back, lost cause, out of control, homeless, disgraced, failure, always knew it. Man says you think I haven't noticed you chasing me all these years?! Pushing me around, telling me I am one misstep from losing everything?

33. After Lunch

Right after lunch: I feel super! I don't need a tea. 10 minutes later: OK nope, tea time

32. With Kindness

Me, relaxed, holding a cup of tea, mostly nude, with my scars visible

Background: For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with accepting and loving my whole self. I have had a lot of challenging experiences in my life that have left sometimes very deep emotional scars. When things are going well, it’s easy to love and accept myself, but when times are hard and my scars are aching, it gets tough. I have been able to turn a page this fall, and have learned acceptance and love for myself even when I am hurting through loving kindness and mindful meditation. After going to a few artist collective open houses recently, and experiencing the power of others expressing themselves, I felt inspired to put stylus to screen and show where I feel scars in my body when I am having a tough time. Doing this was a practice in self acceptance and love, as well as a way to make my experience tangible.

[Scars Hidden Alternate]

17. Pending Revenge

man: OK, stomach, you've been awful for a month now, we're seeing the doctor. man's stomach: joke's on you! I'll be good for a week, then you'll pay.

15. Time Warp

man using Mac Plus in monochrome world. spouse-man: is it just me, or are things... less colorful than usual?

14. Hat

A long running joke in our relationship is my wanting a cowboy hat, and my husband strongly disapproving of the idea. One day!

man smiling: what do you think of my new hat? spouse-man: no. absolutely no cowboy hats! man: aw. you're just jealous!

13. Dark Mirror

I have been trying to sum up how the last four years in the US have felt, seeing people who look like me that come from similar backgrounds be so full of hatred

man looking into a mirror with a sad expression. the reflection is smiling maliciously

12. Coping

Paying homage to a classic

coping: man laying on sofa listening to music with headphones while fire rages outside window

11. Tower-19

pixel art. man facing out open door in decaying stone tower, looking at night sky full of stars